i haven't written in a while, and that's because i've been on hiatus. i'm trying to clear my scrapping and writing phyci (spelling?) and so far it hasn't been working, so i'm just going to update you on life as i know it anyway.
well, today we went to walmart for a costume contest, we got there about a minute late, and they were already judging alejandro's age group. i wasn't too concerned, i mean they are handing out 15 dollar gift cards for christ sake. alejandro's costume cost me more then that. what pissed me off, however, was the look one of the associates gave my mother when she called his name (he was a judge, and my mom works at walmart btw). it was one of those, what? i know you so you expect me to choose your grandkid? looks. that wasn't the point, it was just to acknowledge that he was there....it's a fucking kid's costume contest they dont' know the damn difference, don't blow him off though like you're fucking god. anyway. i'm ranting about someone that is not worth the effort, but on one last bitchy note i'd like to say that he smells, he sweats miserably, he needs to buy clothes in his size, he needs to stop thinking he's god's gift to women, needs to stop flirting with woman, and playing favorites with the one who do and treat the one's who don't like shit.....it's noone else's fault but he's own that he married an ugly old dutch boy looking fat ass and had two retard kids who need a good boot up their ass. god didn't make your wife an alcoholic and you shouldn't blame him for letting your wife drink during her pregnancy and now your kid sees everything upside down. oh, and i hope that bitch did come out pregnant with your kid and you get fired for fratenization and you go to court for not taking that girl's sexual harrasment chargest seriously, and you get in trouble for being too close to that other dumb bitch.ok i'm done.
ANNNNEEEEEEEEEEEWAAAAAAAY....
we did a little pretrick or treating around walmart, after about 20-30 minutes he looked beat so we left. when we got home, i made a stupid decision to let him have an m and m and one piece of a fruit gummy. how was i to know that for a kid that's never had candy before this would be the
equivilant to giving him the keys to willy wonka's chocolate factory? after 30 minutes of pure bouncing around throwing him self about and biting me (yea, he's a viscious one) i finally got tired of it, stuck him in his crib gave him a bottle and walked into the living room. five minutes later he was out (thank god). i don't have to be hit over the head twice to learn my lesson so he's not getting any candy tomorrow. we're still going trick or treating, but i'll be damned if he sees any riches from his trotting around town. he won't know the difference. i'll just let john get to the bucket when he gets home and give the rest to the kids.
in other news, not much has been going on. i shaved my head cuz my hair was falling out like a cancer patient's (due to stress). and things have been rough around here. we're hoping to get john's letter in the mail any day now. things have to get better when there is no going any lower. i know i just have to be patient and something good will occur. i know my life is meant for more. i'm going to get my break with my writing or scrapbooking, or a break in general. i can't be mediocore. i can't live my life going from one shit job to the next. i've always aspired for big things. i can't sit around and let someone else succeed while my life amounts to minimum wage like my mother did for my father. maybe it's sucess when you support someone enough to let them follow their dreams and sacrifice your own for their benifit, and yea the pay off is my mother will retire stinkin rich, and she's living cozy now, but i don't want that type of sucess...i'm greedy, i want my own success...i want my own five minutes in the sun...i don't want to go to bed tired from too many jobs, my hands smelling like bleach, my mind spinning on all the things i could have been. i don't want to give up who i am, and i don't think i should have to...
one day at a time. i'm going to get a break. i know it.
i have the drive.
it's just a matter of waiting to see if anyone else notices it.
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